I am feeling pretty emotional and deflated writing this because the enormity of what I am trying to do has hit me hard. I don't think I realised how much this all meant to me until today. And to be honest it is a simple ad that a famous new mum has put out there that has messed me up today.
So Firstly, let me tackle waist trainers. They are not great for new mums recovering from birth (regardless of the type of birth) as they will increase the pressure on your pelvic floor and they wont help a Diastasis Recti. This will increase the risk of the prolapse. Do you know what a prolapse is? what the implications are? It isn't sexy to sell slow recovery. In this world of instant gratification and results we have decided that this must also apply to our bodies. That science doesn't matter and that we can make it better with a quick fix.
But I want you to consider a few things first before you fall down the trap of wishing for your recovery to be like hers, or your friends or the neighbour that never looked like she was pregnant.
This pressure to conform to one type of recovery post birth is insane. Look at the women around you. Look at your differences. Are you different heights? Does she have a longer torso than you? How differently did you both carry your babies during pregnancy? Was your birth different? What are your exercise histories like? Truly look at the differences in your bodies.
Do you have the same hormone balances? Do you eat the same? Do you have the same support system? How many children do you both have? How does your baby sleep? How well do you heal from any injuries? Are you able to afford a trainer to work with you most days of the week? Do you have a personal chef? Do you have a personal assistant?
I could go on and on about the several different factors that you need to consider when comparing how fast you have 'snapped back to your pre-baby body'. You are never going to have the same recovery as someone else.
So why has this got me all tied up in knots, fighting the urge to cry?
Because you are worth so much more than this.
This influence that one person has to promote something that may cause injury to many, many women out there is just too much sometimes. To know that women are making poor choices because pelvic health and the care of the mother after birth isn't a priority. That we are sitting out of our lives because we just didn't know that wearing that waist trainer, or jumping back into that HIIT class was going to cause pelvic dysfunction and now mums all over the world are dealing with being embarrassed to go out because they are peeing themselves. Or their sex life has become so painful that they just don't have sex.
One day I hope we can all see that we are more than how our bodies look. And that there is no perfect body. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best version of yourself, no matter what that looks like and I hope that we are free to do what we wish with our own bodies without judgement or trying to conform to someone else's idea of perfect. And that we all have access to the information we need to stay healthy and happy.
This is a big uphill battle that I know I am not fighting on my own. But today I feel a little lonely and I need help from you to help spread this message.